


Winter Flower

by icecoldbeverage



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Winter, flower - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:20:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27539785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecoldbeverage/pseuds/icecoldbeverage
Summary: Jihoon meets a spirit born in winter in the forest, Hoshi.
Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Kudos: 13





	Winter Flower

**Author's Note:**

> a random short story that i thought of because i was stressed. 
> 
> i wasn't able to italicize some parts because I'm a noob in AO3.

They said everything was planned from the moment that you were born; they said everything was fated. So Jihoon didn’t know why people believed in the saying that ‘you make your own future’ or ‘hard work pays off’ because if everything was decided from the very start, why bother exhausting yourself through a battle that is purely based on fate? If it was meant for you, then it will happen. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much effort you put, you would never experience triumph. 

And he knew it all too well, losing and winning battles, that you were not in control of your own life. You had to leave it up to the divine being up in the skies to decide. And for Jihoon, he knew exactly which side of the battle was he on, he was fighting a losing battle. In fact, it was a matter of life and death. If his life was a movie, he was an extra character that barely anyone would care about, the sacrificial character, the one that was not given any thought. His fate was much worse than others, he wasn’t winning, he wasn’t the star, and most importantly, he had no future or tomorrow to wake up to. It’s only a matter of time before his existence would be completely erased from the world, and no one would even remember that he was there.

“The camellia isn’t blooming.” He let out a heavy sigh. The flower in front of him was exactly like him, lifeless. But if there was one thing that he liked to do even when things weren’t going wonderfully for him, it was to give life to other living things. He thought that maybe, while he was still here, he could take care of plants because they always seem to bloom graciously. “What do I do with you?” He tried asking as if its wilted buds and leaves would answer.

“Jihoon, we should go back to your room. It’s getting so cold.” A hand was placed on his shoulder. He turned to face his mother with a slight smile on his face, a smile that he hated seeing. It was a mixture of pity and sadness.

“The camellia isn’t blooming.” He repeated. He wanted his mother to hear what he was worried about so she would stop urging him to go back to that cramped room of his. “No matter how hard I try, it just wouldn’t.”

It left a sad thought on his mind that he couldn’t manage to even make a single camellia flower bloom. Taking care of plants gave him a sense of control, a control that he wouldn’t achieve in his lifetime. 

His mother didn’t listen and also repeated what she had said. “We should go back to your room. It’s getting cold.”

As if on cue, white blossoms of the snow began to fall down everywhere. The intricate design once again never failed to amaze Jihoon. A snowfall on this day and clouds sticking together to form snowflakes that weren’t even supposed to be beautiful, but they were. They were so beautiful to even describe. It was beautiful fate, he thought. The clouds didn’t have hands to craft these but when they fell down, you could stare at it forever. 

Maybe not forever, because once you touch them, they melt. 

He felt a tug on his shirt. He faced his mother that was now giving him a reprimanding look, saying ‘I told you let’s go back.’

-

Jihoon put on his thick coat to fight the immense temperature outside. By the window, he eyed the forest that he had been wanting to go to ever since the winter season started. He wasn’t allowed to, given his condition. But this time, he wanted to rebel a little. He wanted to see how the snow covered the trees, if the skies looked different in the forests, or maybe…just maybe…there was a cozy place to go to every time he needed comfort.

He slithered down the halls of their home. Every footstep that he made was timed not to make a harsh knocking sound once he went down on the wooden stairs. And he succeeded, he was out without no one noticing.

He began to make his way to the forest, but not without stopping along the way once in a while and appreciating the view of nature. 

Once he arrived, he was surprised to see a small cabin made out of weak materials such as straw and wood. He could tell from the outside that it was abandoned and that no one was living in that place for so long. It was a lone cabin in the middle of a forest covered in snow, as sad as it may sound, it was breath-taking to look at. 

But he was somehow wrong. A young man who looked like he was the same age as him, with cheeks red from the cold and plump limps, opened the small door of the cabin. At that moment, they made eye contact. He was surprised, of course, But his surprise was nothing compared to the other man’s face full of horror.

He was thinking if he should say hi. Unfortunately, the man acted like he didn’t see anything and continued to walk outside and play with some snow. He was slightly—very slightly--- offended. But it didn’t faze him, he walked toward his direction, a snowball on one hand, and threw it at him.

“What the heck?!” the man yelled in surprise. He wiped the snow off of his face with his old-fashioned clothes, a brown ragged looking coat and grandma like pants. 

He thought he would finally greet him but again, he was ignored. He was now fuming. 

How rude of him to ignore me? What an unfriendly soul. 

“Why are you ignoring me?” He finally asked with so much annoyance in his voice. Jihoon hated it when he was ignored. “Did you not see me?”

“Can you see me?” The man asked back without even bothering to look at him. He seemed so apathetic with the situation. “If you can, think again.” 

Jihoon wasn’t having it. He didn’t want to be shot back with jokes. What’s wrong with this man, really? 

He moved closer to him with an evil plan in mind. The other was just busy building a snowman, minding his own business when he kicked some of the snow off. Not enough to ruin the entire snowman, but enough to annoy the man. 

Finally, the man looked at him with confusion. “What?”

“What?” He mocked him by asking back.

“You can see me?” 

Jihoon rolled his eyes. The temperature outside was so low, but he wasn’t able to feel it anymore because frustration made his temperature inside rise. “Are you kidding me? Do I look blind to you?”

The man puffed his cheeks while thinking. It was cute, yes. But Jihoon, again, wasn’t having it right now. “No.” He replied shortly after a long time of thinking.

“Do you live here?” Jihoon changed the subject before the silly interrogation continues. “Alone?”

He nodded at Jihoon’s question. He still looked confused but more welcoming now. “Yes. Why are you here? It’s the forest.”

“I just want to look at the scenery during winter. I didn’t expect someone living here especially since it’s kind of in the middle of nowhere.” Jihoon glanced at the surroundings and thought that he made the right choice to escape. The scenery was astonishing. 

Trees were completely covered in white, but once the faint sunshine would hit them, it looked like they were glowing. He could also see the horizon from there, with mountains that he would like to explore next.

“No one’s living here.” The man chuckled.

“So, you just came here to do a snowman?” He asked in confusion.

“Let me repeat what I said,” The man was almost finished with his snowman. Jihoon was surprised at how fast he fixed the damage he made earlier. Once he finished, he then poked a stick through the snowman’s chest. “No one’s living here.” 

Jihoon finally got the message. His eyes, together with his mouth, widened in shock. When he realized, he covered his mouth for snow not to get inside and not freeze him. He began to scan the man’s appearance and there he could conclude that there was no way he was living in this era, let alone be a living human being. Because although he was wearing old worn-out winter clothes, it was too thin for the temperature not to freeze him. And he wasn’t wearing gloves, yet he wasn’t daunted a little bit by the cold snowball he was holding. Just like the trees, when the sunshine shone on him, he was glowing.

“Now you understand?”

He understood! But he had so many questions. “I do but like, what are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, come on.” Jihoon sighed. “You can’t just tell me that you’re not a living thing then go ‘I don’t know’ when asked what you are.”

The man pouted, “But I really don’t know. I just woke up one day during winter and never left the cabin when other seasons came. The other seasons hurt me. The sun hurts me the most except when it’s the winter sunlight.”

He took off his coat. There, he showed Jihoon small patches of what looked like sunburns. Jihoon couldn’t help but feel sorry. It must’ve been so tough to live like that. He thought.

Jihoon then remembered something from his pocket that he had never removed. It was a small petal of cherry blossom that he made his mom laminate. He wanted to keep it for himself but seeing that the other might not even know what it was he wanted to give it to him instead. “Here.” He extended the petal to the other. 

“It’s pretty but what is this?”

“Cherry blossom petal. They bloom during spring. You can keep it since you’ve never experienced seeing one.” He softly smiled. 

The other looked so happy with the gesture and pulled Jihoon into a tight hug. “Yay! I finally got to see what spring looks like.”

Jihoon shook his head in disagreement. “Not what spring looks like, only the cherry blossom petal. So, tell me, are you a winter spirit?”

“A spirit born in winter, maybe. Not a winter spirit.” He corrected. He wasn’t looking at Jihoon while answering, he was just staring at what he gave earlier with big eyes. He seemed so enchanted with it. “I’m Hoshi.”

“Hoshi. Nice name. I’m Jihoon.” 

“Thank you Jihoon.” He finally kept the petal in his own pocket and smiled so brightly. His eyes looked like two lines. “I appreciate it. Thank you so much.”

Jihoon smiled back at Hoshi. The two of them began talking about other things and doing several activities in the snow. Hoshi taught him how to build a cute snowman which Jihoon always failed to do because his looked like a big mess, yet Hoshi was still so patient while teaching him.

“You can do it. Don’t slap the snow too hard or it’ll fall again.” Hoshi instructed him.

Jihoon sighed in so much frustration. “I’m not slapping it too hard! I’m very gentle!” He refuted. 

Once they were down with the snowman making, Hoshi invited him inside the cabin. What was inside were wood carvings that Hoshi made with simple tools. Hoshi told him that it was what he did whenever he couldn’t go outside due to other seasons. Every design was unique to each season, like how there was a snowflake for winter, a maple leaf for autumn, spring was missing because Hoshi said that he didn’t know what design to do yet, and for summer it was the sun.

“I know you’re a spirit and all, but do you eat?” 

“Nope. I don’t think so. I tried eating snow once and it tasted terrible.”

Jihoon let out a burst of huge laughter at his response. “Why would you eat snow? Of course, that will taste terrible. Now that I confirmed you have working taste buds, I’ll bring you delicious food tomorrow.”

Hoshi’s eyes lit up with so much excitement. “Really?!”

“Yes. Why not?”

Then, Hoshi suddenly began to search for something through his carvings. Jihoon just watched him scramble through his things, waiting for him to finish. When he finally stopped, Jihoon turned to look at what he was holding. It was a carving of a flower, a flower that he very much knew.

“Is that a camellia?” He was sure but he still wanted to ask. He was trying to grow this flower at home with no success. “You know what camellias are?”

Hoshi nodded. “They bloom during winter, so I know them. I think they’re the most beautiful flower in the world so I’m giving it to you as thanks. In wood form.”

-

Jihoon stared at the wooden camellia Hoshi gave him sitting on his desk. He couldn’t wait to see him again. He didn’t regret going to the forest, it was the best thing he’d ever done. 

He wore a different coat today, a thicker and long one to cover the amount of food that he was about to bring to Hoshi. When he finished preparing and probably wiping out half of the food in their refrigerator, he went on his journey to the forest.

Hoshi greeted him with very expecting eyes, trying to scan him for anything that he might be holding. He told him that they should go inside the cabin first, and there he dropped every food there was on his coat with Hoshi squealing in exhilaration.

“This is a cake.” Jihoon looked like a primary school teacher teaching a toddler a basic thing. “You eat it like this.” He cut through the cake using his fork and into his mouth it went.

Hoshi followed him. He was kind of skeptical of the taste at first but after thinking for a while, he put two thumbs up. “That’s so good! Let me try again!”

“Finish it all.” 

He indeed finished it all…and his face was a mess. He really was like a toddler. Jihoon turned to look for a handkerchief or anything that he can use to wipe the icing on the other’s face, but he didn’t bring one. So, he resorted to wiping it off using his thumb.

Hoshi looked surprised, his face turning a bit red, but he didn’t say anything. 

The day ended with them eating different snacks and Hoshi enjoying all of it.

-

Jihoon often went to the forest to meet Hoshi, and each time, he was growing to be more and more attached to him. You can say that he even memorized the other’s features, like his eyes would become to lines whenever he smiles, his lips turning into a pout whenever Jihoon would leave, or how his hands would automatically hold Jihoon’s when trying to show him something.

Everything was like a dream. A dream that he didn’t want to end. He didn’t want to wake up, he didn’t want this winter to be over.

But it wasn’t just Hoshi that was running out of time, he was too.

He could hear loud sobs from his parents’ room. He knew what it was all about, he knew that he didn’t have much time left. He was a hopeless case after all. If he heard this before, he would’ve been cursing out the heavens on why him out of all people, but now he didn’t mind. He wasn’t scared…but he had a dream that he wanted to fulfill before being completely gone.

He went back to his room and to his surprise when he looked through his window, he noticed that the camellia outside was blooming.

-

“What’s wrong?” Hoshi rested his head on Jihoon’s shoulders, gazing at him that was thinking so deeply. They were both seated on the cabin’s couch, enjoying some snacks that Jihoon brought again. “Are you tired of me?”

Jihoon pushed Hoshi’s face away from him which earned a tiny laugh from Hoshi. “Stop it. I would never get tired of you!”

“Really? Well, you should, that would be easier.” Hoshi’s expression suddenly shifted to a lonely one. “You won’t get to see me after this season.”

Jihoon felt a pang on his chest. Tears were suddenly clouding his eyes. He tried to wipe them off with his coat, but Hoshi already noticed. “I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

“Why do you say that? You won’t disappear, you just can’t go outside. I can still go to your cabin!” He shouted, trying to conceal his sadness. 

He kicked Hoshi on the legs playfully. The other didn’t bother to stop him.

“You’re not wrong. But I don’t want you to see me suffering, you know?” He took Jihoon’s hand and placed it on his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment as if he was feeling the touch of Jihoon’s hand. Jihoon took this as a sign to caress him. But he didn’t understand what he was trying to say.

“What do you mean suffer?” He asked with so much concern, still not removing his hand from his cheek. “Wouldn’t you be fine if you stayed in the cabin?”

Hoshi gave a sad smile. With this, Jihoon suddenly didn’t want to hear the answer. He was afraid of what he was about to hear.

“I lied. Don’t you notice something, Jihoon?” Hoshi took his other hand so now he was cupping his face. “Don’t you feel that something has changed?”

And it hit Jihoon. He was getting warm. Before, whenever he touched him, he would be as cold as ice. Now, he was warmer, as warm as a normal human being’s temperature. 

“W-why?”

“I told you, the other seasons hurt me. Even if I stayed inside, my body can’t handle the warmness of the sun. I tried carving to distract myself from the pain. But if the sun hits me too much, I’d eventually disappear. I don’t want you to see that. Please, Jihoon, don’t come to me during the other seasons. Just see me when it’s winter.” His voice was pleading. Jihoon could feel himself shaking from what he revealed. He didn’t know how to respond.

“Why do you have to ‘live’ so badly like this?”

“I don’t know. But I want it to end.” 

“You what?” He let the tears from his eyes freely fall down. It trickled down his cheeks, they were like rain that wouldn’t stop. “You want to disappear?”

Hoshi was silent for a moment. “Yes. If I was given the chance, I want to see the cherry blossom that you had told me. I want to end it that way. I want to end my suffering. But since you came, I’m trying my best to live through the seasons once again.”

And just like him, he noticed that Hoshi was also crying. But he was saying all those words with a smiling face.

His heart was beating so fast. There was just silence between both of them and a slight distance, but he wanted to break it. He wanted to get closer to him right now, to comfort him, to tell him that everything will be alright… but he didn’t know how.

Just then, he pulled Hoshi closer and kissed him. He kissed him so deeply. He placed a hand on his cheek and the other hand was playing with his hair. Hoshi didn’t know how to respond at first, but he began to move his lips as well. They shared a deep, passionate kiss as the second of the last day of winter’s snow was falling. It was sending out a mutual message that only both of them knew.

-

“You were going outside without us knowing?!” Jihoon didn’t know how but he was suddenly met with angry parents outside their house. They were both fuming, cussing left and right. And they looked like they were ready to punish Jihoon. “Do you know how dangerous that is for your health?”

As usual, Jihoon didn’t bother to say anything and walked past them. His parents were scary when they were angry, but he didn’t care. He was too used to it.

He walked swiftly to his room so his parents wouldn’t catch up. He slammed the door loudly. He could still hear muffled shouting but again, he just doesn’t give a fuck. 

Jihoon looked at his desk, and there was the camellia that Hoshi carved. He took it and placed it on a higher shelf beside the potted camellia that he was taking care of. It was blooming so perfectly, but he preferred Hoshi’s.

He slumped on his bed with all of the heavy thoughts in mind.

He suddenly remembered his dream, on what he would like to do before he was gone.

That was when he decided.

Tomorrow, he would tell Hoshi.

Tomorrow, he would be finally be pursuing his own happiness.

Tomorrow, he would be in control of his own life and fight a winning battle for once.

-

He left very early in the morning. Although his parents tried their best to keep a sharp eye on him because they found out that he had been escaping, he was still too clever to get past those.

He didn’t leave anything, not a single note. He wasn’t coming back, and he knew it for sure.

Jihoon made his way to the forest, and for the very last time, on the last day of winter, he stared at the scenery. The snow was nearly melted; trees were almost fully visible. But he smiled, he smiled because spring was coming.

And the reason why, he wanted to tell Hoshi first.

Hoshi was busy trying to prepare for his carvings, a sign that the season of bloom was almost there. Hoshi was scared for what he was about to face again, but he wanted to stay strong for Jihoon. He wanted to meet him again.

It was true that he wanted to disappear. But he didn’t want to hurt Jihoon, even if it meant that he’d be the one hurting the entire time. Although it was for a short while, he loved him. He was the only person to ever see him, the only person to ever make him experience things he had never experienced before, the only person to ever care for him so much even though they didn’t have much time together.

And it was their last day today. His chest tightened just by thinking about it.

He expected Jihoon to have a gloomy expression on his face, but he was wrong. He was smiling from ear to ear. And although he was confused, he greeted him with an enthusiastic smile too. Maybe they should spend their last day together happy? Pretending that tomorrow never existed.

"Hoshi.” Jihoon called him. He gestured for him to go outside.

He dropped what he was doing and did as he was told. 

Jihoon had his hand in his pocket. “What are you hiding?” He asked.

He then brought out a flower that was bloomed in red. Upon seeing it, he immediately recognized. It was a camellia. Jihoon handed it to him. “Do you like it? It bloomed during this winter. It’s so beautiful just like what you said.”

Hoshi nodded, still staring at the flower. “It is.”

“Hoshi…”

“Yes?”

Jihoon spoke with a serious but eager voice, “Do you want to go see the cherry blossoms with me?”

**Author's Note:**

> typically when the petals of a flower fall off, the calyx will stay intact. with camellias however, the calyx and petals fall away together, which is why the camellia also represents eternal love or long-lasting devotion.


End file.
